mechanical pencil.

out of sight, not necessarily out of mind;
misleading implications...
even though i'm not one to imply.
straight.forward.

i have dirty fingernails.
what have i gotten myself into?
i count my recent intimacies on one hand;
some intentional,
others spontaneous,
most under the influence.

i swear i'm not promiscuous.
i've grown beyond physical attatchment and have
adjusted practically according to each affair.
i want more- but i'm not desperate...
i can handle this.
i'm a big girl.

fatigued by incomplete affection and conditional circumstances;
i lose a little bit of myself with each kiss i willingly give away.
i miss you so much- in this sense, i miss myself.
it hurts...
but i have to live past it.