my friend rob gives me rides to work daily, since i have an expired license and no car. while driving to work this morning, we watched a state trooper fly in front of us as we approached the stop sign at the cross-section of Nike Park Rd. and Reynolds Drive. we turned down the road, in the direction of the police officer, fully assuming that someone had been speeding and was about to have their day ruined... it turned out someone had already set the tone of the day by speeding around that blind curb and flying straight into a ditch on a motorcycle.
rob and i drove past the scene not but probably 2 minutes after the guy had flown off of his bike. as we slowly cruised beside the small huddle of civilians and single police officer, i noticed a grown man lying on the ground, neck crooked and out of place, blank faced, staring at us in rob's car. there was no doubt the man was dead.
i covered my eyes and looked straight ahead, breathing deeply.
the muscles in my throat tensed and i couldn't swallow for a moment
it wasn't gruesome... his body was limp and clean..
i didn't want to look... i didn't look. i held my hand across my eyes.
it hurt to look.
it hurt me that his family was minutes short of that devastating phone call that would alter their lives forever.
it hurts me that this man woke up this morning without the slightest inclination that it would be his last day on this earth.
it hurts to think of how that man possibly spent his life while existing.
it hurts to wonder where his soul is right now.
it's amazing how fragile life is...
we are not without limits.
i could definitely go into more detail; how time stood still for moments before witnessing it all, the thoughts that raced through my head, the thoughts that are still panning back-and-forth behind my eyes, the hopeless expressions on the people beside the man... but i'd rather not.
perhaps it's a blessing to be so sensitive... bittersweet, at the least.
i know these feelings will never leave me.
i haven't hurt this badly in a little over a year.
life is so, so delicate.
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